Mr. Persistence

People will tell you that persistence is a good thing. Those people have never had to deal with online dating, that takes persistence to a whole new level…and in a manner that is typically not welcomed. Sometimes persistence looks like multiple messages from the same person repeatedly that are copied and pasted and make it clear the person cannot remember sending the same line (or novel) 2 days prior. Other times it is someone being a little more pushy in their attempt to get their message noticed (not a strategy I would recommend in case you are wondering). 

Then there is the level of persistence that boarders on crazy, intensely annoying and mildly disturbing. Let me give you a for instance; one person had a strong opening, a good thought out message followed by pleasant back and forth conversation that inspires the slightest spark of hope in a sea of cringe worthy opening lines and introductions. 

This hope was quickly dashed later that same evening when they sent the dreaded line “send me a pic”…*sigh* this isn’t my first rodeo and I am well aware this is never a good sign. Keep in mind that there is in fact several pictures of myself on my dating profile – no lazy/ disheartening grey generic “missing profile image” here! 

I tell the person that I will not be doing that…and in true online creep fashion they proceed to push the issue, claiming that they are scared that I am cat-fishing them and the only way to prove myself is to send them a selfie at 9 o’clock at night…

They had eventually relented and the next morning I decided to go against my better judgment and believe that maybe this person had legitimate reasons for being concerned about online cat-fishing (these stories do seem to be becoming more and more common lately) and since the rest of the conversation had been promising I decided I would humour him and send a picture I had that didn’t make the profile cut. Of course, I instantly regretted doubting my veteran instincts when after 5 minutes of back to normal texting came “send me a sexy pic babe”… HARD PASS!

I mean, you’re joking right!? (he wasn’t). This is obviously no longer a “concerned” person, and clearly never was, the end game reveals all. The number is blocked and deleted, conversation ended, do not pass go, you are the weakest link…goodbye.

Three weeks later I realize the downfall of having so many means of communication at our fingertips when I get a quizzical message with a not so sincere apology for how they had behaved. They went on to say that they were “the guy I blocked for asking for a pic”… no sir, you are the guy I blocked for pushing inappropriate pictures and being disrespectful, not for simply asking for an innocent picture as you would like me to believe. 

Needless to say, this time I did not second guess myself or doubt my online dating instinct and absolutely did not buy into the latest message claiming the person had changed and “majorly re-evaluated” their personality traits over the three weeks of radio silence. I am sorry/ not sorry to say that this is not a second chance situation, and simply means yet another number to block. 

Published by Brie Valkyrie

I am nothing if not resilient. This is something quite a few people have frequently told me. When things felt exceptionally overwhelming I used to think “I know I am resilient, but sometimes I don’t want to have to be”. However, the life lessons and experiences shared in this blog tend to highlight the importance of resilience. Why? Because I have come to firmly believe that one of the first steps in finding happiness and becoming the person that you want to be is to understand that bullies, losers and unfortunate circumstances do not define you. After all, a person who never gives up can never be defeated. Colourfully invisible was born as a way to make sense of the seemingly endless; absurd, unfortunate, cringe worthy and down right comical circumstances I continuously find myself in. It is meant to provide entertainment while motivating others and offering advice on navigating the battlefields of life. I hope you enjoy reading these collections of stories and lessons learned along the way. Please feel free to reach out and make a connection.

3 thoughts on “Mr. Persistence

  1. A very interesting post, Brie. I have 2 daughters and I worked with many women who have online dating stories. I greatly admire the courage it takes to risk putting yourself out there. You made me smile with the phrase “this isn’t my first rodeo.” And, interesting how “cat-fishing” has become part of our vernacular.

    On a positive note, a few of them are now in great relationships with someone they met online. And, continue to listen to your dating instincts. A smart move on your part, letting some fish get away. Good luck. A great post. 🙂

    Like

  2. Thought One: You definitely need to write a book.
    Thought Two: I am very relieved not to be online dating.
    Thought Three: I learn lots here — today I needed to look up ‘cat-fishing’. (I live under a rock, I know!)

    Like

  3. I tried online dating a few years ago for about six months. I definitely understand the persistence as well as the overly verbose communications. It was more exhausting than exciting. My experience wasn’t good but I know it works for some. Here’s to better luck in the future. 🍾

    Like

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