Change Your Dreams

When is it time to let your dreams die, and what constitutes ‘giving up’ on your dreams?

It’s fair to say that I’ve been having a bit of a rough time lately…Maybe you can relate.

It feels like I’m not where I am meant to be and things are definitely not going the way I thought they would. I’m not where I felt I would be or ‘should be’ for someone my age and the plan that I had once envisioned for myself just hasn’t been happening. It feels as if one thing after another keeps going wrong and there is a little bit of bad news every day and things are consistently falling apart around me. Everything is simply disintegrating. 

All of these hopes and dreams that I had are just vanishing, leaving little more than a fog of confusion in their wake. During these times it is hard not to feel like you’re drowning. It is hard not to feel lost… to feel hopeless. Yet despite this I have continued to fight each day and try to be positive…but its hard.

“The colors of daybreak (Explore 2014-05-08)” 

People have told me on more than one occasion that I have not had things easy, but who really has? I am nothing if not resilient, I have pushed through and I keep pushing through, but there comes a point when things just feel…desolate and your not sure how much more you can handle before you hit your breaking point. 

I had summarized these feelings over coffee with my dad when I bluntly stated “It feels like I am watching my dreams die” (just a touch melodramatic I know). He looked at me and without skipping a beat countered with; “change your dreams”.

Change your dreams…But… that’s not the message that we are constantly bombarded with. More often than not the message we receive is; “change your method, never your goal”

Change your dream…what does that mean? Does that mean you are giving up? Does that mean you’re quitting? Does it mean you are settling for something less?

Now, when you were a kid, what were your goals for the future? Are they happening? Did those dreams stick with you as you grew and matured, as you forged your identity and worked to shape what your life has become and the vision of what you want it to be? Are the dreams you have now those same ones from when you were five? Does that mean you gave up on your dreams? Or does it mean that they have changed to suite the person you have grown into.

Change your dreams. It sounds so simple and it sounds like you are merely giving up. But does changing your dreams really mean that you are giving up, or does it mean that you are flexible. Maybe changing your dreams means changing the smaller aspects of a plan that make up the larger dream and overall achievement. 

Are we meant to have one dream? Are we meant to only ever have one vision for our life and that is all we get, if we do not achieve it then that is it, we only get that one shot and if we can’t make that happen…there’s nothing. Is that all we are reduced to, are we not complex creatures who are allowed to grow and flourish, to change and adapt in order to overcome?

Life isn’t supposed to suck all the time. Sure, there will always be lows and hurdles to get through, there will be rainy days and days that test your resolve. But Life can also be beautiful. Your life can be what you want it to be. You can be, and you deserve to be happy. If chasing a set idea of a dream to the point where you feel like there is no way out is not fulfilling you or bringing you a sense of inner joy and peace, then is it really the right dream for you? When you get to a point where all is lost then maybe its time to step back, examine your life and decide that maybe you don’t actually have to follow one particular path for yourself that you had previously laid out. You can change, you can create a different path, different doesn’t have to mean better or worse, its just…different. When you were little, you changed your dreams. As you move through life you set goals and when you achieve those goals you set new ones. It would be rather sad if we only ever got one goal, when you achieved it, that was the height of your existence and if not, then you became the definition of a total failure and were never able to adapt. 

Change your dreams, I don’t think it’s a matter of quitting or accepting less. Its not a matter of giving up any and every time the going gets tough. But you don’t have to have one dream. There are always multiple ways of getting to where you want to go, changing the smaller dreams to achieve the over all dream of what you want your life to look like. So why does the journey have to be miserable? It really doesn’t.  Because after all, isn’t enjoying the journey a dream worth living?

If all hope is lost…
Create new hope.

“Hope in the thorns” by orangeacid

Published by Brie Valkyrie

I am nothing if not resilient. This is something quite a few people have frequently told me. When things felt exceptionally overwhelming I used to think “I know I am resilient, but sometimes I don’t want to have to be”. However, the life lessons and experiences shared in this blog tend to highlight the importance of resilience. Why? Because I have come to firmly believe that one of the first steps in finding happiness and becoming the person that you want to be is to understand that bullies, losers and unfortunate circumstances do not define you. After all, a person who never gives up can never be defeated. Colourfully invisible was born as a way to make sense of the seemingly endless; absurd, unfortunate, cringe worthy and down right comical circumstances I continuously find myself in. It is meant to provide entertainment while motivating others and offering advice on navigating the battlefields of life. I hope you enjoy reading these collections of stories and lessons learned along the way. Please feel free to reach out and make a connection.

17 thoughts on “Change Your Dreams

  1. I, too, have been told that I’m resilient. From my experience with lost dreams and thwarted hopes I’ve come to believe what you said: “you can create a different path.” There’s nothing wrong with giving up as long as you know why you’re doing so & how your life will change because of it. Then make a new path.

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  2. For some reason, WordPress has decided I can’t smash the Like button on this post. But that’s OK, because I don’t Like this post….I Love it. Such an important lesson and even more important to embrace when young. Brava, Brie!

    Deb

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lovely. I don’t think changing our dreams means we are giving up, or settling for less. I think it means we are evolving and growing into our truest self. And I think sometimes if we look closely, we see that a dream we had may have come true–but in a slightly different way from what we imagined. Beautiful, thoughtful post.

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    1. Thank you. I love the concept of “evolving and growing into our truest self”. I completely agree, just because a dream may not look like we thought it would at one point, doesn’t mean that it has not come to fruition in another form. Thank you for sharing 🙂

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  4. I came over from Donna’s blog and I just have to say that changing your dream is definitely okay – and often sends you on a new journey that’s far more fulfilling than if you’d continued to push through with the original path you’re on. My dreams changed when I quit a toxic job – Plan A was to move straight on into a new job and keep running on the work treadmill for another 8 years until retirement. After recovering from being sucked dry from it all, I applied for a couple of jobs, didn’t get them….and felt an immense sense of relief to not be back at the grindstone. Time has passed, my days are full, I don’t need the extra cash, and my stress levels are zero. I’m never bored, I’m incredibly happy and content – and none of those things would describe me if I’d pushed back into working again.
    I agree with your Dad – change your dream, be kind to yourself, follow your heart (not your head) and live every one of the precious days you have left with joy – ultimately it’s up to you – but I’ll be cheering you on x

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  5. Having dreams and goals are some of the ways we motivate ourselves. I’m inspired by others chasing after their dreams, and that helps motivate me. I primarily like to keep my goals private, but I share something I’ve accomplished once in a while, hoping it might inspire someone else.

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  6. Why not? Dreams change at various points in our lives .. there will always be joys and sorrows, unfulfilled hopes and desires, but the smallest things can bring rays of sunshine into the gloomiest times.

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  7. What a powerful post, Brie. There have been times when I felt I wasn’t fulfilling my dreams, and even more times, when I haven’t been able to pinpoint what my dreams are. In the past my dreams–or goals–have all been centered on accomplishments or achievements. Now I’ve shifted more toward experience…learning to be in the moment, enjoy the journey, be at peace with impermanence and a lack of control. The Universe is definitely testing me on that right now, but I’m not giving up on the dream.

    I came to your blog through Donna’s Retirement Reflections. I wish you luck in finding your new dream and hope you have a lovely day.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. Shifting more towards experience sounds like a great way to enjoy the journey. I hope the universe eases up on its testing for you soon and that you have a great day as well 🙂

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  8. Change your dreams – I love that. I think your dreams change as you grow – and that’s absolutely okay and probably as it should be. They reflect who you are as a person and I guess if the theory is that as you grow more authentically into you your dreams become a reflection of that. I sort of keep dreams and goals in separate bits of my brain – which probably makes no sense. I have a list of 101 things that I want to do in 1001 days – there’s some little stuff on there, micro-goals, easy to achieve things; some mini-goals that take a little more effort; but all of them are designed to add up to the dreams. I get motivated by crossing stuff off – no matter how small. Oh, and I update it and change it regularly but it’s my list and my dreams so I can do what I want with them.

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  9. Nice to meet you Brie. This post resonates with me on many levels. Especially when life has significantly changed direction this year. A great phrase “…fog of confusion…”.
    Wise words from your Father. Also the concept of ‘different’ plans, ‘different’ dreams.

    A great deal of wisdom in this post. The apple does not fall far from the tree.❤️ Erica

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