October is spooky season…and what is spookier than online dating? I mean, you really need not look any further than your electric screen of choice to meet all sorts of ghosts, goblins and ghouls looking to find love …. or so they would have you believe.
There are the ghosts who lurk on these apps without any identifying pictures (or perhaps they are vampires who cant be caught of film). Some claim it is for privacy while others don’t even bother trying to explain their choice. Either way, the end result is usually the same, when you politely decline meeting this unknown entity you are promptly labelled as superficial.
Of course, you can’t always rely on pictures when navigating these waters either. There are shape shifters who lure unsuspecting people in with normal photos only to reveal their true form once they have you out on a date in person. A friend of mine had her first online dating experience by showing up for a dinner date with someone who looked cute and seemed normal enough, only to spend the evening across the table from someone she described as an unsettling shell of the picture portrayed in their profile …. clearly, she was on a date with a zombie.
There are the Jeckyll and Hydes (Or ware-wolves if you prefer), Similar to the shape shifters, these too present themselves as one thing only to reveal a much darker side of themselves quickly into the conversation. In my experience, this usually takes the form of a rather crude outburst loaded with expletives once I decline a one night stand, or somehow otherwise offend them when I do not give into something I am uncomfortable with, whether it is a ‘date’ or conversation topic.
Another friend of mine has encountered a witch. Someone who used the darkest of magic to cast a locating spell and show up unannounced at his work…when he had never told her where he worked (yikes …. talk about awkward!)
There are also those who insist on picking you up for a first date. Then, when you decline and are pressed for why and say anything resembling not wanting to get into a strangers car…they flip out and now you are suddenly the bad guy for wanting to be responsible for your own means of transportation to a first date. My personal favorite is when this “offer” includes a destination outside of city limits.
Last year, I encountered someone who embodied several of these spooky characters all in one. The conversation started off pleasant enough, no harm or foul and when he suggested we get together for coffee sometime I had actually been considering it. But then the offer changed to one I was definitely not comfortable with. Now, when I declined this altered offer that is when the transformation took place. He flipped out and huffed “What would you want to do then” and although I had pretty much made up my mind that a meet up with this person wasn’t going to happen, I did ask “well, what’s wrong with going for coffee”, to which he promptly replied “I don’t drink coffee. Only water and milk” …. Ok … so then why did you suggest it in the first place? He simply could not understand why I was no longer comfortable meeting him, and I was labelled as the crazy one for not being accommodating.
So what was the date in question? I am glad you asked! As it turned out, his idea of a good first date was to pick me up from my home (that’s a no) and then go for a drive. For an hour outside of city limits. At night. To go for a walk in some woods that were reportedly haunted (that upgrades it to a hell no, in case you’re wondering). Now, I wish I could say that this was some sort of organized “haunted hayride” event, or that it was at least a Halloween related outing …it wasn’t.
