Mr. Jump into Bed & Hope for the Best

The “I never do this” girl has been a well established stereotype among various forms of media. It stems from the stipulation that a disclaimer of; “I never do this” must be clearly stated frequently during the early stages of a relationship so that a prospective partner will not be too quick to judge them for their actions on those dates. At this point, I think that it is fair to assume that “I never do this” has become a widely accepted lie. 

As the phrase becomes more of a joke in pop culture representations and less of a nervous tick recited out of fear of judgment, it would appear that “I never do this” is gaining a new-found popularity with the opposite sex. 

I have read that line from men across all different types of dating apps enough times that it is starting to make me wonder, is anyone out there actually buying this crap? Or are enough people letting you get away with it that you feel confident I will fall for it? Then again, maybe it is merely a numbers game and these men figure that if they use this line enough it is bound to work at least once. 

Let me be clear – I’m not buying it –  and neither should you. I am sorry to have to tell you this, but this is nothing more than a lame (and incredibly lazy) attempt to get into your pants.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not totally naïve. I am well aware that there are many people looking for casual hookups on these sites and that’s fine, navigating one’s way through a minefield of hookup attempts is just part of the online dating experience.  

My main issue lies within the fact that the vast majority of men attempting to use this line, are doing so because they are targeting those who have made it clear they are not looking for a random hook up or one-night stand. Maybe it is just that everyone on these apps has become so cynical of everyone else’s true motives for being there that no one believes anyone could possibly be looking for a real connection on these sites anymore? Then again, maybe I am just reading too much into it and it is simply a matter of conquest for these guys. Either way, I’m getting tired of it.

The pitch is always the same, it is clear that I am not looking for that type of connection. Hookups just aren’t my thing – and would you know it, these dudes feel the exact same way! They are not looking to randomly hook up with anyone after all, they are not sending the same type of message to ever other girl they come across. They are looking to randomly hook up with just me. Straight off the bat, just come over jump into bed and hope for the best after they leave…they claim that this could lead to more. After all, they are not like that, they are not looking for a quick lay. They claim that they never do this sort of thing and that somehow, someway, without even knowing me, they know that I am special and they just have to sleep with me. They suggest that this is not merely a random hookup, that I am the exception, that if I jump into bed with them no questions asked that it could one day, eventually, possibly, kind of, sort of, maybe…turn into something more – Riiight—Because I was born yesterday and am totally gullible enough to buy into that nonsense!? * Yawn *

Published by Brie Valkyrie

I am nothing if not resilient. This is something quite a few people have frequently told me. When things felt exceptionally overwhelming I used to think “I know I am resilient, but sometimes I don’t want to have to be”. However, the life lessons and experiences shared in this blog tend to highlight the importance of resilience. Why? Because I have come to firmly believe that one of the first steps in finding happiness and becoming the person that you want to be is to understand that bullies, losers and unfortunate circumstances do not define you. After all, a person who never gives up can never be defeated. Colourfully invisible was born as a way to make sense of the seemingly endless; absurd, unfortunate, cringe worthy and down right comical circumstances I continuously find myself in. It is meant to provide entertainment while motivating others and offering advice on navigating the battlefields of life. I hope you enjoy reading these collections of stories and lessons learned along the way. Please feel free to reach out and make a connection.

One thought on “Mr. Jump into Bed & Hope for the Best

  1. Riiiiight…. I reckon that I’d be gullible enough to believe it – even now at my age. I’ve always been that person who believes what she’s told. If I couldn’t lie to someone to get what I want I assume no one else does either. But yeah, on second thoughts, I don’t think even I am *that* gullible.


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